There are moments during my hiatus with my cousins when I go like "This is just meh." so I decide to whip out some super coolio facts. Like during lunch at my movie making camp.
Me: Hey, Becca, my bestest cousin ever? (cat face like ^_^)
Becca: ...What...?
Me: Do you know...
Becca: ...Do I know...
Me: ...Do you know which animal has the largest penis-to-body ratio? 'Cause it's the barnacle.
Becca: Jesus, Zoe!!! :O I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that! Ewewewewewew.
Me: The ratio is 1-to-40. I'm pretty sure "40" is the...penis...
Becca: Okay, yeah. Got it.
Me: 'Cause, you know, it's stuck in one place for all of its life, so it has to be able to impregnate female barnacles...
Becca: Oh gawd.
Me: It's probably the reason why "barnacles" is a swear word in Bikini Bottom.
Becca: ...Probably.
Then there are moments that just sort of make entertainment within themselves. Like the game Becca's sister Shelby, and Shelby's boyfriend Zack taught me:
Shelby: TITS!
Me and Becca: ...???
Zack: TITS!
Shelby: McGee!
Me and Becca: Wednesday Thursday Friday, you guys?
Shelby: You guys have never played that game before?
Zack: TITS!
Me: ...McGee!!!
Shelby: See, Becca. Zoe's got it.
Me: (loud and raspy) Psst. Becca. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Becca: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Me: TITS!
Becca: ...mcgee...
Me: I'm sorry, Becca, what was that?
Becca: McGee. There. You happy now?
Me: Yes. Yes I am, Sam I am.
Becca: (eye roll)
Zack: Ballsac!
Me: I'm not gonna jump on board that wagon right off the back.
No comments:
Post a Comment